The unofficial website of

Blarfengar
Blarfengar.

Spelled:Lee Smith.See above

Yes, that's me. No, you are not saying it right. It's fine. Everyone struggles with it at first, including, famously, the United States government.

Exhibit A
Footage of me, patiently helping a census worker with my name
A statement

My side of the story

A very nice young man from the census came to my door with a clipboard and my name already written on it. Written correctly, I should say — L, E, E, space, S, M, I, T, H. Then he read it out loud and got it completely wrong, the way people do.

I corrected him. He looked at the paper. He looked at me. He looked at the paper again. We went back and forth like this for some time. I don't know what they're teaching in schools, but apparently it isn't phonics.

The whole exchange was recorded and put on television, where it has apparently been watched by millions of people, most of whom also cannot pronounce my name. This website is my response.

A public service

You've been saying your name wrong, too

Don't feel bad — nobody ever taught you. Type your name as it's spelled, and I will tell you how it's actually pronounced. You're welcome.

Form BL-2Name Pronunciation Correction

Phonetic breakdown provided, since apparently spelling things out is the only way anyone learns.

Answered once, for everyone

Frequently shouted questions

"But it's spelled Lee Smith?"

Yes. I know how my own name is spelled, dear.

"How do you get Blarfengar from that?"

You sound it out. Both times.

"Is this a joke?"

A joke? It's a name. It was my mother's name, and her mother's before her. Both of them also spelled Lee Smith.

"Can I see the interview?"

It's at the top of this page, and the full segment is on YouTube. I'm told I come across very reasonably.

Watch my interview in full

You'll see I was nothing but patient with that young man.

▶ Watch on YouTube